Why 2012 is complete hooey and why you can 100% relax about all of it!

I’m making this an official prediction – here it is – 2012 doomsday end of the world disaster is irrelevant. You will live to see 2013. Guaranteed.  And I’m going to tell you why 100% you can relax about all this 2012 hooey.

Let me tell you why I can say this with absolute certainty.  First off, and this is the most important thing to understand, there are two types of time. One is human  prehistory time, or tribal time, which is time that travels in circles and cycles.  Prehistory is the history before the written record.   Modern time exists in the linear fashion.  We think of time from past to present to future, moving in a straight line from point A to point B.

There is a vast difference between a circle and a line.  If you put two lines together and one line is a straight line and another one is a circle, they are completely different.  A circle goes round and round and round and round, no beginning and no end, and a line goes from point A to point B. It has a beginning and an end. In tribal time, or folk time life is circular.  The Mayan calendar is circular.  In fact, the calendar itself is circular.  When a modern mind looks at circular time, the modern mind tries to apply linear time frame.  He tries to take this circle time and flatten it into a modern thinking time line.

Of course, you can’t do that because that’s not how that calendar was created. I mean you can do it, but any conclusions that you arrived at would be erroneous. Tribal time goes round and round.  So there is no end to the Mayan calendar.  It just begins the next cycle.

To understand tribal time, think of the cycles of the seasons.  When it’s winter, and the end of winter comes, you don’t expect the planet to explode and come to an end. Rather, you expect winter to flow into spring, which would then flow into summer which would then flow into fall which would then flow into winter and then, it starts all over again.

2012 will never happen because 2012 is a completely arbitrary made up date in some psychotic person’s mind.  When I say psychotic really what I’m saying is they’re just delusional.  We all suffer from the same dysfunctional brain that is still in the process of evolution and does not work all that rationally. It’s very paranoid, and so people come up with these crazy ideas all the time.  The way your brain works, you believe that if you just think something that is must be true.  And there are a lot of pop cultural beliefs around thoughts being things. But of course, they are not. I am thinking of a number right now… I have written it down, and it is in my drawer. If you can tell me that number, I will send you a crisp 100 dollar bill. Seriously. If thoughts are things, certainly the thought of the number that I have written down is a thing. It goes even further than that. It’s an actual piece of paper that I have written on with a sharpie.  Perhaps you are getting my point?

We suffer from the inability to distinguish reality from fantasy.  2012 is a completely fantastical idea.  It is not based in anything scientific.  It is based on some rather delusional, paranoid, pot smoking or drug taking person who is trying to interpret a Mayan calendar – which is cool by me. To each their own. No harm done, until you spread that paranoia around the planet.

Let me just start right here: there ain’t no ancient Mayan’s around to tell you how exactly to interpret the Mayan calendar.  So whatever this person or these people believe is irrelevant. it doesn’t matter if there is 1 or 100 or 1,000 of them, is irrelevant because they are mistaken.

That’s all there is to it.  Imagine if a bunch of 6 year olds came up to you and said Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, and you were like uh okay, and then 100 more came up to you and said Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, and you’re like okay.  And then 1,000 more or 10,000 or even if 1,000,000 kids came up to you and said Santa Claus exists, it’s really an irrelevant discussion.

You’re not going to sit and argue with them because there is no Santa Claus.  So why I am going to have a discussion about whether or not Santa Claus exists – he doesn’t exist.  There is no Santa.  So it’s not even worth wasting breath– there’s nothing to discuss.

The knowledge that the person who is making these predictions is basing their reality on is just completely incorrect.  For example, you can just absolutely take 2012 world distruction off the table simply because they’re not understanding that pre-history human time was circular and cyclical which means there is no end. Time is round and round and round.

But what they do is something called a priori reasoning – the imagining of some crazy idea that pops into their heads.  And of course what’s going to happen a posteriori, through observation and hard evidence  – is that we will see in fact 2012 comes and goes without incidence because 2012 is like a pink leprochan elephant – and there are no pink leprochan elephants.  So it’s irrelevant to worry about pink leprochan elephants.  So if I said to you, for example, there are pink leprochan elephants that are going to hit the earth tonight while you sleep and you are going to die!!!!

I hope you’re not going to wake up in the morning and actually ask if the pink leprochan elephants hit the earth?  You’re not going to wonder if we will survive the pink leprochan elephants.  There were no pink leprochan elephants to begin with. It was all made up, so there was nothing to survive in the first place.

2012 is a non event.  There is nothing.  This is just some delusional person’s arbitrary interpretation of completely arbitrary data – which is what human brains do – you always try to find meaning in the meaninglessness.  That’s how you interpret reality. You see things that do not exist.  Okay, that’s what you do.  No big deal.  But that’s why you can take a deep breath and relax because there is a non event called 2012.  2012 does not exist.  I mean obviously the year exists but this sort of mythical end of the world hallucination is ridiculous.  It’s certainly ok to believe whatever you want. But trust me, you are wasting a ton of energy on this. I’m sure there are better things that you could be productively doing with your time.

And I will tell you another reason why this 2012 story is ridiculous. It’s because you are so self centered and self absorbed, you actually think that the end of the world– arguably the biggest event in human history (even bigger than a Rollingstones tour) will happen in your lifetime. Your brain is so delusional. Really? You all are so important that you are going to be present for the biggest event in the history of the planet – the end of planet earth – and you’re going to have a front row seat! That is just plain center of the world – Los Angeles I’m a celebrity because I’m a celebrity – paranoid, non-functioning brain thinking.

Seriously, you’re not that important.

Furthermore, in the scope of geological time – the earth does eventually come to an end- but that is in geological time not human – time that is far beyond your folk ideas and feelings about time and history – and has absolutely nothing to do with your 15 minutes of fame.