Let Zygote, Egg and Sperm alike, Stand Together as People, United for Christ!

human zygote
Zygote United For Christ
Thou shalt not “spill thy seed,” proclaim the sacred texts of the ancients. From these words we can clearly infer that one’s seed is sacred, spiritual, and must be saved at all costs.That’s cause God does give a crap about our sperm. Really. Our sacred sperm must be used only to fertilize eggs. And once fertilized – that egg shall constitute a person.
That, according Mississippi Proposition 26, which asked voters this past Tuesday, to amend the state constitution to say that human life begins at conception.

If passed, the amendment would have affected every aspect of the state constitution, focusing on abortion doctors and women, effectively making abortion – for any reason – illegal.

I’m sad to announce that the proposition failed by a margin of 58% – 42%. Some say the proposition failed because it went too far – effectively reversing Roe v Wade. I say the proposition failed because it didn’t go nearly far enough.

I’m suggesting Mississippi create Proposition 69. The proposition would say that personhood begins in the testicles. That’s right you miserable, masturbating, baby-drainers. You would all be murderers. Since there are millions of sperm in a load, I think we could technically charge male-masturbators with genocide.

And don’t think women are off the hook if Prop 69 passes. Nope. If you have a period – well that will be considered involuntary manslaughter. We need women to waste no eggs – just like God intended. We need more uh, “people” to fight for conservative Christian values.

From now on – it’s just black and white: you spill your semen, manslaughter. Loose an egg – think prison.

Furthermore, under proposition 69, “pulling out” will be construed as attempted murder. Contraception: voluntary manslaughter.

We need to be tough on egg-cum-crime. We can no longer tolerate the abhorrent misuse of tyrannical liberal powers when it comes to the sanctioning of the killing of millions of innocent eggs and sperm.

Let zygote, egg and sperm alike, stand together as people, united for Christ!

Darwine Charles